At community group, the question was: what issue would you like God to just immediately deliver you from?
For me, it's having a messy house. I would very much like immediate, instantaneous, lightning-fast delivery from having a messy house.
Val suggested I figure out what would best serve my family. Then she heard me say that to me, a messy house equals personal failure. Then she spouted Beth Moore at me. (Just kidding, Val.) She said the idea that my messy house equals failure is a lie from the pit, and I need go-to Scripture to replace the lie. Ultimately, it's not my house that needs to change, it's my heart.
Jess suggested I write about it. Because I write to process.
So here I am. Writing about my messy house. Yay.
I thought about writing privately about it, but I decided against that because I need input. From you. Pretty please.
So I came home from community group (which I referred to as small group and care group inadvertently this afternoon because I can never remember what each church calls their groups because the American church can't make up its mind, but I digress) and punched "simple housekeeping" into my Google search bar because God knows I can't wrap my head around anything complex.
I found a blog that did a book review on a nifty e-book called 31 Days to Clean -- Having a Martha House the Mary Way. The reviewer, Simple Living Mama, said, "This book is a must for the Christian homemaker. It’s an inspiring ebook that causes you to look carefully at why you want to keep your home clean. You will feel empowered to take care of your home not only to keep it clean, but to fill it with love."
Oh, yes, Simple Living Mama. That's what I want. To figure out why I want to keep my house clean, to be empowered, and to fill my home with love.
I bought the e-book. $4.99.
Sure enough, Day 1 tells me to figure out why I want a clean house.
So here goes.
Oh, wait. One more thing. This is a 31-day challenge to a clean house, but I laugh at the absurdity of 31-day challenges and immediately bend their rules. This is probably going to be a 31-week challenge. Or 31-month. Please, dear God, let it not be a 31-year challenge. Please let me figure out how to manage my home before I'm... let's see... 37+31=68. Sixty-eight. Please let me figure this out before I'm 68.
Also, I'm not saying I'm going to write 31 blog posts about this. I might only write one. This one. Don't fence me in.
So here goes. My stream of consciousness answers to the question: why do I want a clean home?
Because I hate it messy.
Because I like it clean.
Because I'm more at peace when my home is orderly.
Because I feel guilty when I hear the boys announce from the kitchen that there are no clean bowls.
Because I feel ashamed when I hear Jeff paw through a pile of clean laundry at 5:30am to find something to wear to work.
Because I'm tired of scrambling around whenever we're going to have company.
Because I want to do my job well so I can be proud of myself.
Because having a clean home equals homemaking success, and I want homemaking success because I think it will give me purpose, and I want to find purpose in homemaking success because then I can deny my need for God, because my flesh does not want to need God.
But Day 1 says I'm supposed to put my housecleaning why into a mission statement. So those reasons will not do. My mission statement would be only two words: Self Glory.
I need to give this some more thought.
Why do you want a clean home?