I don't want to move. My heart feels heavy.
Not that I'm particularly enamored with this house or anything. It needs to be condemned. Not that I'm not grateful for this house. I am. But we really wanted to settle down and stay in one place for the rest of the boys' childhood. And I have friends here that I'm sad to leave.
I'm expressing my grief by avoiding packing. Maybe if I pretend we're not moving, we won't actually move.
But we are moving. On Saturday.
We're also trying to sell the puppies this week. The fact that I agreed to show puppies whilst trying to pack and move is clear evidence that zoloft is working for me. Before zoloft, I would have immediately rejected the notion of extra social interaction during such a busy week.
Because we're selling puppies this week, yesterday was not the Redemption Day I'd planned. It was Puppy Prep Day instead. I took new pictures of them because the only ones I had were from when they were three weeks old. I made puppy contracts and medical records for each pup, complete with individual pictures, weight record, shot record, and worming record. Then I cleaned out their pen, again, put fresh cedar in their bed, and spread fresh cedar in the dog run.
Then I bathed all eight puppies. That made them cranky. They looked so pathetic afterward, dripping wet, all their cute fluff matted down, huddled in the farthest corner of their little dog house in a big heap, staring reproachfully at me. But it only took a couple of hours for them to fluff back up and decide I didn't hate them.
So this morning is Redemption Morning. Dishes, laundry, straighten the living room. I don't like to pack a cluttered space. I like to clean it up first.
Jeff and I got a lot done last weekend. The carport is sorted, the storage shed is cleaned out, the pump house is cleaned out, the cement pad is sorted, the burn pile is ash, and everything else outside is either ready to go to the dump or into the moving truck. That feels good.
Jeff got the bunk beds dismantled and removed the wood stove insert as well.
I guess if I'm having puppy showings, I might as well put our free furniture on craigslist. The more the merrier at this point. Maybe one of my puppy buyers will take a free couch, too.
Here is the verse of the day:
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves all those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm something. I think.