Saturday, December 10, 2011

Evidence of Healing

Last year at this time, I could not bring myself to say the words "hang" or "hung" or "hanging." I struggled all season to find alternatives to the words that immediately made me think of Dad's death. We didn't hang our stockings. We set them up. Jeff didn't hang Christmas lights. He wound them around tree limbs. I didn't hang the Christmas wreath. I attached it to the wall. We didn't hang ornaments. We placed them.

This morning, I asked Jeff to hang the icicle lights outside. After the words came out of my mouth, I remembered suddenly that I'd had a hard time saying "hang" last year.

Then I realized it didn't bother me this year.

Then I realized this is evidence of healing.

December is still hard, and it's still flashback season, and I still have to pause at the hard moments and remember to keep breathing.

But God has shown, by the healing of my vocabulary, that He is healing my heart as well.

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace
Hail the Sun of Righteousness
Light and life to all He brings
Risen with healing in His wings

I'm off to hang some more ornaments in my window.