Monday, November 7, 2011

The Dirt Adds Character

JAMES: Mom, look. On my collage, the fox is flirting with Madaam Mim.

JONATHAN: What is flirting?

JAMES: I don't know, but I think it means, ummmm... love or somethin'. Yeah. It means love or somethin'.

JONATHAN: What I don't understand is... how come when something gets giant, its voice gets lower?

MOM: It has to do with the decibels that carry, right, Baby?

JEFF: Yeah...

JONATHAN: Okaaayyy... this is all sciencey, and I don't want to hear about it.

JAMES: There were two continents before The Flood.

MOM: I think just one.

JAMES [shaking head dramatically, eyes wide]: Pangaea... and Atlantis.

JAMES: And they were all just lyin' around Willie Nelson.

JONATHAN: You mean 'willy nilly.'

JAMES: Hey, Mom. What's your favorite song?

MOM: It's a song Dad wrote for me.

JAMES: Oh. Ya mean that one song about all your dead roses that ya keep around?

JAMES: Every time I write the word "hundred" I think of Shan Yu.

MOM: Why?


JONATHAN: Pluto is the size of Brazil. If ya take three Plutos, ya get Russia. No, wait. Two and a half Plutos make Russia. If ya take fifteen Plutos, ya get Earth. If ya take 2 million Plutos, ya get the sun.

MOM: Where did you learn all these things about Pluto?

JONATHAN: They're just estimates.

MOM: Where did you learn all these estimates?

JONATHAN: Oh, I made them up myself.

JONATHAN: Man. Someone needs to wash these windows.

MOM: Okay. Go for it.

JONATHAN: [Long pause] These windows don't need to be washed! The dirt adds character!