Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Hasty Heart

While we wait for Jeff's biopsy results, we go on with life. My basic philosophy on waiting is that if today is not the day for, say, biopsy results, then it is the day for something else, and I am to find the something else and do it.

Well, I must admit I've been very extra purposeful about finding the something else and doing it. I made myself a big, long list of things I can do at any given moment that will keep my mind and hands occupied. Things like walk the dogs, clean the bugs out of the windowsills, scrapbook, read church history, learn my camera, learn the names of the flowers, birds and trees on our property, finish college. Things like that.

(Oh, and by the way, one of the two classes I still need to take is a science elective of my choice. Jeff suggested ornithology. Kill two birds with one stone. Ha ha.)

Lots of stuff is getting done around here. I like that. Not the things I listed above; other things on my list. Do the dishes, do the laundry, organize my digital photos, go grocery shopping, supervise chore time, play with the boys, cross stitch, read, pray, paint my nails, sit outside, quilt, make a dinner menu, process photos, blog, and sell stuff on eBay.

Steve from Blues Clues teaches toddlers about waiting. They skidoo into a board game where they keep moving a few spaces at a time to reach their goal, and each time they have to stop on a space, Steve and Blue sing to us, "Wait, wait, wait... what will we do while we wait?"

That song keeps repeating in my head, even though my children have not watched Blue's Clues for many years and there is no Steve anymore and if I allude to the boys' early childhood developmental entertainment choices, they collapse in mortification. No one told me I would be forever haunted by insipid toddler music imposed upon me by my children who now don't remember it at all. So unfair.

Yesterday, I repaired the rips in the cloth arms of a doll. And I took pictures. Of Jack's bandaged foot, of Jeff installing our new furnace, of James's above-and-beyond housework efforts, of the fleas I have sentenced to death by soapy water. They will be in a separate, very thrilling post.

I really don't think I've behaved in a frenzied manner. I'm not rushing around like a crazy person. I'm just being very... industrious.

Very. very. industrious.

I'm okay with that. I'm doing whatever my hand finds to do with all my might, and it's all good...

as long as it's all good in my heart.

I can't say that's been the case consistently. No one can.


But in keeping with His great faithfulness, lovingkindness, compassion, and love, God whispered His comfort to me this morning.

Judges 4:14b ~ Does not the LORD go out before you?

Yes. He prepares the way for Biopsy Results Day.

Acts 28:30a, 31a ~ [Paul] lived there two whole years... proclaiming the kingdom of God.

Two whole years!

Isaiah 28:16 ~ Therefore thus says the Lord GOD, "Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation: 'Whoever believes will not be in haste.'"

In haste. That's how my heart has been. In haste to hear the results, and therefore, in haste to occupy myself in the meantime.

But because of my sure foundation, there is no need for a hasty heart. The things for which I wait will happen on exactly the day God has planned for them to happen. He goes before me.