I'm so thankful to all of you for your prayers this past week as I've muddled through my anxiety attack.
This time, it was triggered by my watching the life story of Keith Green on YouTube, at the end of which I discovered two of his kids had died with him in the plane crash. I hadn't known that part of the story. My mind immediately transferred the horror his wife must have felt to the similar feelings I would have had in her situation, and...well, you know the rest. Of course my mind *didn't* automatically jump to the part where God sustained her, but we got there with prayer, eventually.
Anyway, in learning about fibromyalgia, we've come up with a partial explanation for my prolonged trembling. It has to do with an underfunctioning hypothalamus gland, exacerbated by cyclical hormone releases, which prevents my body from being able to handle massive adrenaline rushes. Or something like that. On one of the fibromyalgia sites I visited, they actually give instruction for what to tell yourself when you start to freak out. You're supposed to say, "Am I in imminent danger?" When you can logically answer no, it decreases the amount of adrenaline being released into your system. It sounds ridiculous and basic and like it should be a no-brainer, but I tried it, and it actually worked. It was funny. I know my imagination is a gift from the Lord, but come on! Let's separate fantasy from reality here!
So I've spent the past few days just focusing on staying calm, doing research, and trying to regroup - which is why you may not have heard from me. I'm pleased to say I've successfully fallen asleep sans trembling for two nights in a row!
Your prayer support has been invaluable to me. I wanted to take a moment, again, to share the love, support, encouragement and faith you have lavished on me. I just feel so inexpressibly blessed. I treasure each of you. More than that, though, the prayers I've listed below are just such an awesome display of Abba's presence and power. Prayer works.
In addition to those prayers left in the comments of my recent posts, here are the *written* prayers and notes that have bolstered my trembly soul (not including those expressed to me verbally, which were also many):
I’m covering you in that prayer now and will be all day. I pray for your day today that it will be smooth and calm and that whatever sleep you did get last night will be enough to refresh you; that the Holy Spirit will enable you and empower your day today. And for tonight I pray peaceful sleep in your Abba’s embrace.
Sweet Becky, I prayed for you last night. I didn’t get your email until this morning, but I had some trouble falling asleep last night myself so I prayed for both of us in case you were in the same boat; turns out you were.
How's my Becky today? Been thinking about you and praying for you!
I’ll keep praying. I wish we could figure out what causes this.
I'm praying already. Keep me posted on how you're feeling throughout the day.
Praying for you, Becky. Hang in there. May God fill you with the peace that He wants and intends for you to have.
The Lord is your rock, your strength and your redeemer, an ever present help in time of trouble.
May the great weight of his presence lie upon you tonight
And bring you peace.
Yep, praying too.
please surround Becky in your arms of love soo tight and strong that she is overwhelmed by your peace.
i love you!
God is with you
Praying for you, friend!
praying, bex. and let me share with you a haiku that [my wife] wrote about very difficult times with MS years ago.
Some things in life suck
Darkness seems to cover all
God is still enough
Anyway, that was meaningful to me. Hope it's an encouragement to you as you go through this dark period.
Ok, Becky, we will continue to pray.
I'm praying. He will help you sleep well sweet Becky.
Becky, still praying for you, my dear.
My prayers are with you tonight. Praise our Lord for the blessing of prayer. Love ya.
I will certainly be praying for you, Cousin.
you are in my prayers Becky.
i love you so much!
I couldn't sleep right away last night so I prayed for whomever the Lord brought to mind and you were one. Don't berate yourself for watching something you would have no idea would contain something that would be hard for your spirit to see. I think that as the Lord walks you through this area of your life it is a process, step by step. There's no way you could protect yourself from every single thing in this world that will spur an attack, but we can turn to Jesus in those moments. I'm not saying that you don't, I just hate to see you be hard on yourself for something that is beyond your control (like watching something you didn't know was bad for you). I pray that your Abba will continue to surround you with his perfect love that casts out all fear, that each time you tremble it will get easier or quicker to be quieted and comforted by His spirit.
i lift becky up to you right now, asking for you to calm the trembling inside of her. protect her from this attack and give her peace and rest today. give her wisdom in knowing what things to watch and what things overlook. and please fill her mind with things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely and things that are of good report - help her to focus on *these* today.
thank you for your love for becky!
I’m praying. May God’s peace cover you and envelop you. May you feel His love surrounding you, wrapping you snugly in His everlasting arms.
I love you, Becky.
I have been praying for no anxiety for you. For the peace that only He can bring.
I can remember many times when God woke me up (or kept me up) to pray, and I know of lots of other people who have had the same experience. The watches of the night are when we seem to be the most naked and needy before the Lord. That's when we can really open up and learn.
may God’s warmest comforting love and peace envelope you with the comfort of a warm cozy eiderdown hand sewn quilt, especially created just for you… out of the softest fabric, smelling of summer sunshine, and lavender, to soothe, rest and reassure… lulling you into the most blessed and peaceful sleep for this whole night… with many more to follow…
Amen and amen!